Yeshivat Ateret Yerushalayim

Ateret News

Melava Malka Reunion in Manchester
8 February 2013 / 28 Shevat 5773

Join the Rosh HaYeshiva & Rabbi Silber

for a Melava Malka reunion 

Where: Pegoda Restaurant & Grill, Manchester

When: Motzei Shabbos, Parshat Terumah, February 16th

     To RSVP: click here

Or call Aaron Lowe @ 0770-867-9329

Looking forward to seeing you! 

 

New Video and Photo Albums
14 December 2012 / 1 Tevet 5773

Our Chanukah mesiba video and seven new photo albums were uploaded to our media library. To view our new video or photo galleries visit our media library or simply click here to view our videos and click here to visit our photo galleries.

AJ Scavenger Hunt 2012
7 December 2012 / 23 Kislev 5773

This week AJ talmidim had the opportunity to experience Eretz Yisrael from a different perspective. A fun filled day in Yerushalayim with instructions and objectives created by their Rebbeim. Read below for the results of AJ Scavenger Hunt 2012. Or click here to view the video.

JP JERUSALEM The crisis involving batteries of Jafr-10 missiles was resolved yesterday as cracker teams of specialists tracked down the missing disarm code, and neutralized the missiles well before their scheduled launch time.

Despite successful capture of the codes and repeated assurances by AJ- team officials, anxiety could be seen and felt in the streets of Jerusalem on Monday.

Widespread insanity was seen across the city, as residents expressed their fears and frustrations with the slow process.

In an apparently separate incident, secret agents were observed interrogating suspi-cious people in the capital.

Operating under cover yesterday, crackhead AJ-team sleuths fanned out across the city all day Monday, hot on the trail of escaped terrorist Fullota Baloniyeh. Baloniyeh was not apprehended, but detectives captured his secret disarm codes, which were cleverly hidden in plain sight on the wall of an abandoned terrorist training camp in Ramot.

The first team to discover the codes was the legendary Yellow Team, whose famed Eagle insignia and daring expoits are known worldwide. Led by Special-Agent-in Charge Netanel Riter, the team discovered the codes at 1:52 PM and instantly neutralized the threat. Team members Moshe Eisenberg, Eli Vatch, Aron Levy, and Michoel Smus received commendations of Exercise from the AJ Low Command, which was pleased with the mission.

“It was easy as pie,” said Agent Smus, who sometimes speaks Yiddish or some distantly related language, “ve jusd vollowed de clooz, und ve vound der bombes chight avay.”

The Yellow Team was soon followed by the Red Squad, which discovered the codes at 2:52 PM, and the Blue Crew at 3:48. The Orange Task Force eventually stopped fooling around and sent in the codes at 4:37. “We were a bit confused,” explained Agent Carroll of the Orange Conglomeration, “we didn't know whot he was on about. We checked for clues on the moon but it never had none.”

Anxiety over the missing missile codes could be felt in the capital on Monday. Police report a sharp spike in the number of eccentric behaviors reported, and multiple incidents of complete lunacy were observed in the city center. Nervous Jerusalemites were seen doing crackhead things like walking backwards in the street, building human pyramids, tearing words from street posters, and photograph-ing random objects and letters. A number of paranoid schizophrenic clothing items were seen worn on the street as well.

Unidentified secret operatives were also on the loose yesterday, interrogating citi-zens and security personnel. Among those accosted were policemen, bus-drivers, fish-mongers, and Yerushalmis in stripes.

Even beggars weren't left alone. A Malchei Yisroel Street panhandler who chose to remain anonymous, identified only as “Super” was amongst them.

“They wouldn't leave me alone for a moment,” Super says. “Every two seconds, they bugged me.”

Spooks were also seen photographing sensitive mili-tary installations like mehadrin pizza shops and Breslov dancers.

Agents also collected ammunition from unsus-pecting soldiers, and attem-pted to hijack Egged buses and coaches.

AJ-team officials report that their squads had a lot of fun. “It was a blast,” reported a yellow-clad operative. “I cant wait to do it again.

All teams were first on something. The blue team collected the most points; Orange had the most fun; Red solved the first clue first; and Yellow finished the trail first. Hearty congratulations are extended to the teammates by the AJ admiralty.

Prizes are awarded as follows: Blue team wins the dinner; Orange wins the trouble passes, and Yellow wins the calorie bombs (sufganiyot). Red will be”h be remunerated for their trouble.

AJ-team staff thanks all members who gave their time and energy to the mission, and recognizes a tremendous debt of gratitude to Rabbi Weisberg, without whom this mission would have failed miserably. Thank you to Rabbi Silber and the entire staff for making this thing happen. Thank to the Rosh Yeshiva for creating, maintaining, and underwriting everything that goes on here.

Finally, thank you to all the students who participated and gave it their all.

With political coverage by The Weekly Snoozpaper and Bring Your Own Jooze International.

The Rosh HaYeshiva will be in the UK
23 November 2012 / 9 Kislev 5773

The Rosh HaYeshiva will be in the UK Tuesday, November 27th - December 2nd. 

Manchester - Tues. morning, Nov. 27th - Wed. morning, Nov. 28th. 

London - Wed. evening, Nov. 28th - Sun. evening, Dec. 2nd. 

Mobile: 07854-129-184.

The Rosh HaYeshiva looks forward to seeing you. To make an appointment, please e-mail the Yeshiva at office@ateret.org or contact him on his mobile.