Parshat Ki Seitzei 5781
Rabbi Jablinowitz
We read in this week’s parsha the case of a man who had relations with an Eishes Ish, a woman married to another man. The Torah distinguishes between whether this act takes place in the city or whether out in the field. If in the city, the Torah says the woman is guilty as well as the man and liable for the death penalty. The reason is (Chapter 22, Pasuk 24), Al Devar Asher Lo Tza’kah Ba’Ir; since it was in the city, she could have cried for help and she didn’t. Her silence is understood as consent. But if it was in the field, he alone is guilty and not she. The reason given here is (Chapter 22, Pasuk 27), Tza’akah Ha’Na’arah Ha’Me’orasah V’Eiyn Moshi’a Lah; though she cried out in the field, no one heard and was able to save her.
The Ramban asks, why does the Torah make her situation dependent on actually screaming and crying out? Perhaps she tried to resist and fight him off, but wasn’t successful. Just because she didn’t cry she deserves to die!? Clearly, concludes the Ramban, her crying out is an example or a paradigm for any type of resistance indicated by her.
The Sfas Emes agrees that she doesn’t need to actually cry out in order to be innocent. But the Torah uses crying as the criterion in order to teach us something very important about our relationship with Gd; we need to want to cry. And even if we can’t or don’t actually cry, we need to want to cry out. And when we want to cry out, then even if we don’t actually cry, we are answered. As the pasuk says (Yeshayahu, Chapter 65, Pasuk 24), Terem Yikra’u V’Ani E’eneh; Before they even call out, I shall answer. Why does Hashem answer if they haven’t cried out? Because the desire to cry is great enough to illicit a response from Hashem. Even is someone can’t cry out but he wants to, Hashem hears his pain and his potential cry.
The Sfas Emes takes this concept a step further. Feeling the need to cry has a more powerful impact than actually crying itself. This is because when there is an actual, physical cry, ultimately it passes, and with it passes its effect. But the impact of wanting to cry, the anguish and pain felt which contains the potential for tears, has a longer lasting effect.
He proves this idea from the Gemara in Yoma 20B. The Gemara states that the sound of the Neshamah separating from the body at the time of death, is heard Me’Sof Ha’Olam Ve’Ad Sofo; from one end of the world to the other. What sound is the Gemara talking about? The point is, when a person dies, it is against his will and he would like to cry out in opposition. And though he can’t actually cry out at that moment, his anguish and desire to cry is so great it is heard all over the world.
A similar idea is brought in the name of Rav Mendel of Kotk regarding the Mi She’berach on Shabbos. Since we are not meant to actually cry out on Shabbos for a sick person, we say Shabbos He Me’Lizok; Shabbos is a day we don’t actually cry out, and as a result, Refuah Kerovah Lavo. Our prayers will be heard better when we don’t actually cry out but want to cry, and there will be a healing very soon.
The Zohar Hakadosh teaches this idea on the pasuk in parshat Vayigash (Chapter 45, Pasuk 16), Va’Hakol Nishma Beis Pharaoh, when one davens he should pray silently and not pray out loud. Silent prayer is heard better than loud prayer. And this is indicated by the words in the pasuk Va’Hakol Nishma. The word Kol is spelled chaser without a vav. When the Kol is a silent one rather than a loud one, it is heard better.
Another example of this is the pasuk in parshat Toldos which teaches the power of the Jewish voice (Chapter 27, Pasuk 22), Hakol Kol Yaakov. The first word, Hakol, is also chaser without a vav. All of this expresses the notion that our relationship with Hashem must be first and foremost with our hearts. More powerful than the spoken word is the heartfelt desire. And this is how we primarily connect with Hashem, and our silent, heartfelt prayer is heard by Gd loud and clear, Me’Sof Ha’Olam Ve’Ad Sofo.
Good Shabbos
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