Parshat Vayera 5779
Rabbi Jablinowitz
We read in this week's parsha that the one of the angels who visits Avraham told Sarah that she was going to have a son. We read that Sarah responded by laughing, as the pasuk says (Chapter 18, Pasuk 12), Vatitzchak Sarah B'Kirbah Leimor. As Rashi explains, she laughed and looked at herself, seeing herself as incapable of bearing children in her old age. In the next pasuk, Hashem asks Avraham how could it be that Sarah would respond to a promise from Him by laughing. And then two pasukim later we read (Pasuk 15), Vatechachesh Sarah Leimor Lo Tzachakti Ki Yare'ah, Vayomer Lo Ki Tzachakt. Sarah responds to the accusations by denying laughing, and Hashem says to her, no you indeed laughed.
There are two problems with this last pasuk. Firstly, how could Sarah deny laughing when the Torah tells us that she clearly laughed? And secondly, why does Hashem need to respond to Sarah, no you laughed. What was this argument that they seem to be having?
The Sfas Emes explains and teaches that Sarah denied laughing because she did Teshuvah. And her Teshuvah was a Teshuvah M'Yirah, out of fear, as the pasuk says Ki Yare'ah. After repenting from fear of Hashem, she didn't see herself as having sinned. As the Rambam teaches in Hilchos Teshuvah (Chapter 2, Halacha 4) one of the ways of a person who has done Teshuvah is to change his name, as if to show that he is not the person who sinned; that was someone else. Similarly, Sarah denied sinning after she did Teshuvah because she no longer related to the reality that she had sinned.
If so, why does Hashem keep at her and say Lo Ki Tzachakt, you did sin? Why was it so important for her to face up to it if she really did repent?
The Gemara in Yoma 86B teaches that when one does Teshuvah M'Yirah one's intentional sin is reduced to being considered as having been done without intent to sin. But when one does Teshuvah M'Ahavah, then the intentional sin is totally switched around and is considered as a merit for the person. Sarah's Teshuvah was from Yirah, as the pasuk says, Ki Yare'ah, but not from Ahavah.
This is what Hashem was saying to her when he said Lo Ki Tzachakt. It is not enough for you to remove the sin; the intentional sin is gone. You must take what you did; for you did laugh, and change it into a merit. You must take the laugh, a mocking laugh, and change it into a laugh of joy and simcha. And why was this so important for her to do right now? Why was her Teshuvah M'Yirah not sufficient?
Her son's name was meant to be Yitzchak. Yitzchak, who himself was the paradigm of Yirah, needed to have as part of his personae the attribute of spiritual joy, of Simcha and Ahavah to soften and sweeten the midah of Din. And as a preparation for his birth, Sarah was told by Hashem Lo Ki Tzachakt. You need to acknowledge that laughter and turn it from one of derision to one of joy and thanksgiving to Hashem.
And we see later on in the parsha that Sarah fulfilled this. When Yitzchak was born, Sarah herself states (Chapter 21, Pasuk 6), Tzchok Asa Li Elokim, Gd has brought me joy. The Targum Onkelos translates the word Tzchok as Chedva, true happiness. Sarah did the Teshuvah M'Ahavah. She took her Tzchok of laughing and turned it into one of spiritual joy. Her zadon, intentional sin, was turned into a zechus. And she did it as a preparation for her son Yitzchak to epitomize spiritual joy along with his attribute of fear of sin.
Good Shabbos
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